To start with, my daughter Elizabeth. Of all of the people in my life, Elizabeth is the most companionable of companions. She sets aside her needs to get up early, to ask if I need help, to listen to me say the same things over and over again, and to hear me make no more sense of them when I am done then when I started. She comes with me to grief groups and shopping, appointments and dog walks, and watches me cry without commenting. I think it must be awful to watch your mother cry the way I cry. Her greatest strength is in just being a companion. Just listening. Even if she can't help, even if she can't do, she is always there, in it with me, trying even though new things scare her, staying to help even though there's not much she can do, and just being a presence so that I don't feel lonely. Thank you, Elizabeth. I am very proud of you.
My daughter +Rebecca DeJong and her man, Tom, have also been extraordinarily helpful. Becca and Tom have been here after work, helping me move heavy things, helping me pack, helping me survive. They have often been the exact help that was needed that day, and they spent as much time as they could being so helpful and good. They also listen, and they do something more. They make an effort to make sure I have fun. I am not a fun person. It's true. I'm also a little intense. Some people have some gifts, other people have others. Fun is not a gift of mine, so I have always had to turn to the fun people in my life for help. Becca and Tom make sure I have that fun. They take me to dinner, take me to events, and just generally come laugh and socialize with Elizabeth and I. Some of the best times I have had have been with Tom and Becca. Thank you both. I am very proud of you, Rebecca. :)
I am extraordinarily grateful for one of my oldest and best friends, +Alix Necas. Alix has a surprising amount of expertise in some very useful areas like plumbing and fence building. He is, in fact, a very intelligent man. I cannot estimate how much he has saved me in calling professionals, and how very impressed with him I always am, and I am always impressed with the quality of the work he does for me. He has also been around to do some of the heavy lifting and hard pushing. Today, he finished mowing my lawn, which sounds minor, but for someone who hates lawns with a purple passion, I am quite happy I didn't have to finish it. I am grateful for all of those things, but what I am most grateful for are the smiles. Hanging with Alix has shown me how very important laughter is to healing. Whenever he is with me, he is making me laugh, and by making me laugh, I am healing. I feel better just seeing his face. Some days, after he leaves, I am able to get up and do things, to keep moving, to feel like maybe I might actually make it through this. You help me push back the darkness. I might actually survive with some small part of who I was in tact. If I do, it's partly your fault. ;) Thank you.
My brother, +damnoldguy. I am positive my daughter and I would not have gotten moved without him. He was there for us every day, consistent as rain in Oregon. He's been here nearly every day. When he and Alix visit, things get fixed, fences get built...grass gets mowed, and cats get petted. He drove the massive truck that carried my plants and household here, and more than once, listened to me scream and cry. He provided moral support, break reminders, and good old fashioned sweat and blood. He was the first person here helping us pull up carpet, he's the first to help brainstorm a solution, and he asks for very, very little in return. Whenever I need help and advice, he is there. You have always been one of my closest friends. I cannot tell you how important you have become to me and how much your help is making a difference in my world. Thank you.
There are other people who deserve my gratitude. My nephew Matthew, and his girlfriend, Becca came and helped Elizabeth and I put our shattered home back together after Storm's death, and helped us by helping to clean the garage and move many of the things that needed to be moved, including the heavy roses and trees. Thank you. +Jeffrey Shore has gone out of his way to share his friendship, and I am always grateful for our shared love of Storm. My father and sister both helped us during those last days, lending a hand where ever possible, loading boxes and furniture on to the truck. Jake, Tony, and Christy all helped us with the time that we had, and were the extra hands we needed. My friend Amy provided most of the boxes we used in the move, and remembers to reach out and say hi regularly. :) Of course, there are others who have helped, and I am certain I am forgetting you, but I am very grateful for you, I promise. If I missed you, please speak up so that I have the opportunity to say thanks.
These last four months have been so painful and difficult, and so much of the time what comes out of my mouth sounds ungrateful and angry and bitter and harsh, and I am so sorry for that. I am so very grateful for every good moment, and for every laugh, and every smile, and every single person who reaches out in love and help. For the first time, I feel like I may be able to begin to heal.
Today I had the pleasure of sharing my space with some of these folks. It was peaceful. I am most humbly grateful for the opportunity to share with you all, and to share with you some of the peace of mind and peace of soul you have brought me by helping me with all of these things. In fact, your actions have fully made me realize how very lovely my life is, in spite of all of these pains, and how very fortunate I am to be surrounded by people like you.
Storm used to tell me that I "drew" good people. He told me that I attracted artistic, interesting, and funny people that do amazing things. He was right about that. I am blessed to often find myself surrounded by the very best kind of people. I hope that I never make the mistake of taking a single one of you for granted.
My home, and my yard, and my shade, and my barbecue, and my hospitality are open to you all. I have cold beer, fresh meat, and I want you to join me here to enjoy life in all of it's beauty. I want to make a space where people can come and fellowship and share laughter and truth and joy and love. I want you all to feel comfortable helping to make this an enjoyable place, and come join me for good times and barbecue.
Above all, I thank my father in Heaven, Yaweh or Yahovah, or God, or whatever name you prefer. It is his strength that people see when they tell me how strong I am. It is his courage that gets me out of bed, and his love that makes keeps my heart soft in the face of all of of this. My prayers are answered daily, and I only humbly hope that I am able to serve in the way that I have been served by him. Each day I see the small miracles he brings me in the hearts and hands and minds of the people he sends my way. Messiah said in Matthew 25:
37“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?
38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?
39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40“The
King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the
least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Surely, all of you have done for this widow. I pray in the name of Yeshua Messiah that he blesses all of you for the help you have provided, and for the way that you have opened your hands and your hearts with love. I pray that you are blessed going in and coming out, and that he shines the light of truth upon your hearts. :) Shalom and toda raba. Peace and love and thank you very, very much.
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